Time for a Story: Saluting Mr. Pearl

                           (George Coghill, Link to his website)

So, first, a little backstory. Last year I was teaching an Algebra II class.  It was mostly Juniors with a few Sophomores.  This class was also broken up by a lunch block right in the middle of class.  So we had class for an hour, then lunch for 30 minutes, then the rest of class for 25 minutes.

As students always do, my students complained whenever we were learning a new topic.  They would ask why they needed to know that particular topic.  I would tell them all the different professions where they might use it, and then they would tell me they weren't going to do any of those things.  So, I would tell them that they would need it for PreCalc next year and they would tell me they weren't taking that class.  Then I would try and show them how interesting it was, hoping that interest would drive the learning...they didn't always find it interesting.  So, I finally started answering their question of "Why?" with: "Learning this will make you smarter. And becoming smarter will keep you from becoming stupid." A little dramatic?....Maybe.  But it made them roll their eyes and do what I was asking them to do.

So...at one point during the year, I told them that they should think of me as their leader in the fight against stupidity.  I told them I was their general, and I would bravely lead them to victory over stupidity.  The result from this was that they all started calling me SGT Pearl or LT Pearl or LT Commander Pearl.  Basically, my rank went up whenever I said or did something that they deemed promotion worthy.  Once, it was because I gave them no homework over the weekend.  Then I jumped up to Admiral when I got angry at the class and told them how things would be from now on (they didn't tell me that I got promoted from that until the next class...once I had a chance to cool down).

It should be no surprise that they took this further and further (and I let it continue because it was very awesome and because it didn't slow down the work production...much).  One of the ringleaders of this ridiculousness decided, since he was the closest student to the door and I had nominated him to be the official door opener (because I always kept the door locked so no one could sneak up on me), that he would open the door and ask whoever was there if they had an appointment to see me.  He also asked for some form of ID.  He acted like he was the personal security for the president.

Finally, it all culminated when one of the ringleaders got every student from class back from lunch a few minutes early.  They formed a double row of students in an alleyway from the hall to the door so I would have to walk through them.  When I got close, he called them all to attention and they all saluted as I walked through to the classroom...while taps was being played on one of their phones.  I walked through like I expected them to do this.  I saluted them in return and said, "At ease."  Then they marched into class behind me, like my little math army.  There was about a five minute stretch where no work got done while we talked about the show they put on.  I asked them why they were playing taps, which is supposed to be played when someone passes away.  They replied, "The last 25 minutes of math is going to kill me...so we played taps. But, we saluted and followed you in because we would follow you anywhere."  Hilarity ensued.  They continued this tradition for the rest of the year and all of my colleagues thought it was the strangest thing ever, but were also secretly jealous (I'm assuming).

This is why I love teaching.  High school students are funny and make my life very entertaining.